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Niners Fans Make Positive Start before Giving Way to Second String
Faithful removed from stadium after a strong first quarter in kickoff preseason game
 San Francisco, CA - Ever the diplomat, Mike Nolan made all the right sounds at the press conference following the San Francisco 49ers first preseason game against the Denver Broncos. "We definitely have some positives, and that’s encouraging," said Nolan, "but we also have some negatives and we're going to have to look at that. We're not quite where we'd like to be by the start of the season, but I'm confident, with continuing strong season ticket sales, we will be there." Indeed, the 49ers fans looked to be a force in their limited first quarter action. Chosen by many analysts to be sleeper candidates, the fans gave credence to these projections by completely outplaying the Denver fans in the first quarter. Broncos supporters were hardly seen or heard in the first 15 minutes, causing a nervous Mike Shanahan to say despairingly after the game, "Obviously....I mean it’s a home game for them." However, as expected, the team administration evacuated all 30,000 fans present after the first quarter and replaced them with second and third stringers, some borrowed from a nearby ongoing soccer match. While the quality of cheering was reduced, Coach Mike Nolan assured us that this was a necessary practice in the preseason. "It’s important for some of the youngsters to get game-time experience. I mean you can't get that experience sitting in front of the TV. The game just moves so much faster out here without TiVo. And I'm happy with some of the things I saw out there." While Nolan declined to clarify what he meant by 'things', some have conjectured that the coach was referring to the tastier, spicier nachos con carne brought in to the stadium by the fans from the soccer game.  While the second string fans performed adequately to backup the starters, there was, however, the expected assortment of rookie mistakes. Towards the end of the first half, Alberto Morales from Section 12, Row 76 made the ill advised but nationally televised attempt to start the 'wave', which died out before it reached his daughter Esperanza Morales who was busy with the spicy nachos 4 seats away. During halftime, Russ 'Bubba' Meekes returned to his seat after purchasing a jumbo hot dog, but forgot to add relish. And the worst casualty came halfway through the third quarter, when 49ers supporter Fred Banks thought of the idea of streaking through the field, and was immediately maced and then tazed by security officers standing by, before he could even remove his scarf. Banks was placed on IR following the game. Meanwhile, after an encouraging start, the first stringers watched the rest of the action from outside the stadium, while posing for photo-ops, giving interviews, and generally, kicking back. Most were satisfied with their opening day performance, but happy to be out of the game so their energy could be conserved. As said 49er faithful Frank Gore, who was previously known as Joseph Chen-yun Chao, but changed his name in the offseason, "It's important to avoid injury to our vocal chords. The preseason is important, but not that important." Recent reports claim that Gore has been demoted to second string following his comments.
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