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Legislative Proposal to Change Name of Sport from 'Soccer' to 'Beckham'
Anticipated legislation for radical name-change gains support, faces mounting opposition
 The push to change the name of the sport of soccer to ‘Beckham’ continued to gain momentum when on Thursday an executive meeting of the MLS board voted 4:3:3 in favor of the name change. The news of this vote was received well by fans all over the country, as well as by David Beckham himself, who was, according to reliable sources such as ex-Real Madrid teammate Raul, "muy excitado". The change, proposed initially by MLS commissioner Don Garber and supported eventually by the Players Association, the Players Union, and the Players Club, was primarily conceived to draw increasing viewership to the sport, and build its meagre fan base. While many of the franchises in the league and league itself are running low on money and are mired in a web of administrative legalities over stadium renovations, player contracts and fixture conflicts, Garber feels that this move would be just the infusion of excitement the league needs to get back on its feet.  "Beckham is the new face of American soccer. While he may have not played all too many games yet, we are confident that he will soon recover from his debut game injury and be able to symbolize this sport and all that it represents for many years to come. And what better way to symbolize the league than to give it your name?" While Beckham's donation to the league is non-tax deductible, according to leading tax expert Mike Brown, his sacrifice of dignity and certain knighthood makes him a "savior of the sport at large," said Mike Brown who is a bishop by night. The proposed change has support not only from the MLS, Latin Americans, and Queen Elizabeth, but also from mothers across the country thrilled with the prospect of being called "Beckham moms." With his markedly metrosexual good looks and diverse choice of hairstyle, Beckham's obvious attractiveness has made the term "Beckham mom" the newest catchphrase of 2007 and lent it an oddly sexual connotation. Quickly catching on to its growing popularity, Honda spokesperson John Fernando has suggested that this term would be used in the advertising line for the Honda Odyssey 2008, coming out in October 2007.  There are those, however, who are not too pleased with the new legislation. Most of the people belonging to this lobby are ardent baseball supporters, who complain that the switch would result in the MLB being confused with the new MLB- or Major League Beckham. These reports were dismissed, however, by Major League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig who told reporters simply to, "forget everything and wait for 756." While the legislation is yet to be voted on in Congress, it seems that the building momentum will take it through. A recent poll concluded that only 11% of Americans supported the switch, however, 78% of those polled did not understand the question. Out of the 11% who supported the change, 84% did not know that the sport was called 'soccer' to begin with. The arrival of David Beckham has already greatly resulted in a great increase in the popularity of soccer. Adidas jerseys emblazoned with Beckham's name are now the second most rapidly selling sports product in America, with Michael Vick jerseys still retaining top spot. With the impending swap of 'soccer' for the name of the British icon, soccer is one step closer to becoming America's sport.
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