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Young Bay Area Girl Reports to Adore Cristiano Ronaldo for His Skill
Marissa Maury, 13, embroiled in controversy after suspect statements
 It seems the lying bug has bitten its latest victim. Marissa Maury of Cupertino, California, on Sunday was reported to mention to her friends, Sabrina Smith, 12 and Kaitlin Clark, 13, that she was a huge fan of Portuguese hottie Cristiano Ronaldo, simply for his style of play. The audacious statement was not taken well by her friends, one of whom replied with “what-everr”. Said Clark when contacted later, “As if. Everyone knows that you’re supposed to like him for his cute highlights and the way he looks when he fakes being injured. Omygosh he’s just so cute!” While the motive behind Maury’s blatant lie is still unknown, some witnesses who heard the conversation, such as Claire’s Westgate Mall worker Alysa Johnson, believe that Marissa might in fact be “a soccer fan.” Said Johnson, “you know, maybe she’s one of those girls who’s into it. Like…soccer. Like, maybe she’s lesbian?”  Although these allegations are as of yet unsubstantiated, it seems that the general suspicion of Maury is not. Her statement comes in the wake of rumors that Ms. Maury may even know the rules of the game of soccer. Says Diane Adams, an estranged friend of Maury, “We once went to a game, and Marissa told me that the teams were playing in a 4-4-2 formation. I mean who goes to a game of soccer for anything but watching those little shorts? That’s why I don’t talk to her anymore. She’s just…weird.” While Maury is held for investigation, an inquiry into the meaning of the code 4-4-2 is underway, and some have suggested a link to Franklinsburg, Tennessee, a remote town with the corresponding area code. Police are looking for further leads.
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