Fans Fall Asleep Overnight in Cricket Stadium

“Five5 instead of Twenty20?” ask officials

Soon after the start of the Twenty20 World Cup matchup between England and India, cameramen found that they were unable to find any fans with posters, painted chests, or any facial expressions of excitement to broadcast on TV between balls. As cameras zoomed in, they found that all fans were, in fact, asleep.

To add insult to injury, further investigation into tapes from the previous day’s South Africa-Australia clash proved that fans actually fell asleep during the aforementioned game and remained in the stadium till the India-England game the next day.

“First I thought the fans just got to the stadium really early,” said Indian player Virender Sehwag, “but I knew there was something wrong when no one cheered when Rahul [Dravid] got out.”

Hopes of crowd involvement rose when tiffin boxes and milk packets flew onto the field amidst a raucous cry. However, it turned out to be field security protesting with confiscated items. Indeed, Indian fans found themselves bored out of their mind without anything to riot with.

The cause for drowsiness on the British end of the field was rather different: ground staff for the first time in 760 years forgot to prepare afternoon tea.

A rematch has been recommended, largely due to the fact that late in the second inning, the scorers were found playing tic tac toe against each other in a back room while the scoreboard read “Australia – 203, South Africa - ?” But no one could remember why.

However, following the game, officials refused to convene to schedule a meeting at which the rematch will be planned, citing a lack of evidence that the game England-India game took place at all. They were also pretty damn sleepy.

But some fans like Chidambaram “Chuck” Swaminathan of Liverpool, England, said the fans are not to blame, and the slow pace of the game was not the only reason for general boredom.

“When England start letting all this d*** immigrants play?” he said. “It is so confusing; how we know which brown in blue is us?”

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