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Over-Analyzing College Football, Analyzed
Mel Kiper is actually quoted
 Los Angeles, CA - After an entire summer devoted to predictions, PS3 simulations, and bitching by Southerners, a recent Fox News/Wall Street Journal/Rupert Murdoch Rules! Weekly poll found 71% of Americans were sick of the college football hype. As there are 2 weeks remaining before the actual season, and ESPN has taken no less than 12 polls on the matter of college football this summer, most Americans do not want to listen to Les Miles whine about how USC is overrated, and hear again how and why DeSean Jackson is a deity. New Jersey airport security specialist Lewis Dobson has this to say, "Jesus Christ, play some ****ing games before you analyze this."  The frustration with the over-publicity of these unpaid (aside from housing, tuition, and sex) athletes has reached a new high, replacing whining about the BCS as the primary means of anger Americans have at the NCAA. Dobson elaborated, "Seriously, the NCAA hasn't screwed anything up this summer, but for the love of God, can you please shut up about comparing the Big Ten to the SEC?" ESPN expert, and hair genius Mel Kiper had this to say on the subject, "I don't understand why they are publicizing the season, everyone who's anyone knows all that matters is the draft and all the hype for that. Let's focus on what's really important, like getting the hype machine in overdrive for Virginia DE Chris Long. He can be the next Mario Williams, and his upside is off the charts..." (mumbled words as the tape recorder failed due to the journalist snoring)
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